The Christmas Movie That Lacks Christmas Spirit: “Red One” – Review
- Colton Gomez
- Jan 5
- 4 min read
Review
By Colton Gomez | 01/05/25 | 12:38 A.M. Mountain Time
Action, Comedy | Rated PG-13 | 2 hr 3 min | "Red One" Release Date: November 15, 2024
“Red One” is a Christmas movie that feels the least like a Christmas movie. It shows Santa and reindeer. It’s drenched in red and green coloring. There’s snow and presents under the tree. And, yes, they have to save Christmas. That’s all in the background. It’s mostly a buddy cop film featuring a guy enjoying his day off from Marvel and a brick wall—rock wall—the Rock.
On the night before Christmas Eve, Santa, call sign Red One (J.K. Simmons), is kidnapped by a Witch (Kiernan Shipka) who wants Santa’s powers to punish those on the Naughty List. He is tracked down by E.L.F. (Extremely Large and Formidable) Agent Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) and genius digital tracker Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans). This duo navigates the mythical world—which Jack learns is very real—and have to combine efforts as they learn to trust each other. They encounter Snow Henchmen, magic, and Krampus (Kristofer Hivju) in their race to save Christmas.
I don’t know who this movie is for. There is no core audience I can think of that would want to see this film. Kids will be interested in it for some parts. Adults might be interested in some parts before they fall back asleep. Teenagers are dying to do something else. This movie looks expensive and means nothing. Like the present a detached parent would get their kid for Christmas. It’s insulting that it thinks it can get away with this.
Evans seems to be having a good time as the comic relief, Jack. He’s the character who we experience the world through. He doesn’t believe in anything mythical until it slaps him in the face. He unknowingly helps discover the North Pole Dome for Santa’s kidnappers. His story doesn’t make sense. His recruitment doesn’t make sense. His entire character is setup as a computer guy. Yet, he’s forced to go on a mission around the world with the beefy E.L.F. agent to fight their way to the kidnapper’s lair. The film also tacks on an obligatory “absent father” subplot meant to develop his character. It couldn’t feel more forced and artificial. As bad as this sounds, his character is the most compelling one. Evans far outshines Johnson’s performance.
Johnson as the beefy E.L.F. agent is the most boring character in this movie. He’s the straight man who wants to do the job and retire after—no nonsense. His whole arc is paper thin. He’s straight-faced and all good all the time. The only memorable thing his character does is shrink into a third of his size to evade punches or duck under some people. After the first time, tiny Rock isn’t funny. Johnson isn’t trying to be memorable. He isn’t trying to give the character life. He seems career-tired.
Strangely, there’s no passion or spirit in this film about saving Christmas. I’m convinced most of the cast is just doing this for the paycheck. I can’t necessarily say I blame them. Lucy Liu plays Zoe, Director of M.O.R.A. (Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority). Her scenes give her nothing to do except relay information and say, “catch the bad guys.” Simmons shows up in the beginning and the end of the film, where he offers some element of physicality that breaks up the mundanity a bit. Nick Kroll plays a mob boss and gifts us with an obnoxious voice for a moment, so we can realize the rest of the film isn’t that bad.
The best sequence in the movie is at Krampus’s place. Hivju did a great job at expressing the menace and soft-spots of Krampus and I could tell he was having fun with it. By far, he had the most personality. He was what got me through the last thirty minutes, as I was only yawning, not yet asleep.
“Red One” is a lazy movie in ideation. It’s littered with obvious green screens and CGI that kept threatening to put me to sleep. I feel so bad for the digital artists that had to labor over this movie. Was it filmed exclusively on sound stages?
The basic premise of the film is alright, but at over two hours, it overstays its welcome. If this film was eighty-nine minutes, it might be more endurable. The story is nothing new. It’s an action/spy thriller wearing the mask of a fantasy movie with Christmas decorations. Overall, the film is boring. Its story will not stay with you. You will forget what it’s about but not the feeling of having your time wasted.
Mild Spoilers Warning.
There’s a million things contradictory about the story world the movie presents. To name a few: Why does the powerful witch Gryla need a computer nerd’s help to find Santa Claus? How can Chris Evans free his "iced" foot but can't free the "iced" Nick Kroll? Why is the runway so long at the end of the movie but so short at the beginning of the movie? What happens if Christmas isn’t saved, does the world end? If the people-globes were for anyone who ever did anything bad ever, why does being nice now erase all that? Why did his son get out of the globe?
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Review by Colton Gomez
Colton Gomez earned his BA in Film Studies from Weber State University. He owns and operates ColtonGomez.com. Here, he covers new releases in theaters and on streaming. For short versions of his reviews, check out his LetterBoxd
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