Alien 3 Review
By Colton Gomez | 03/31/24 | 12:58 A.M. Mountain Time
Horror, Sci-Fi | Rated R | 1 hr 54 min | Film Release Date: May 22, 1992
The third entry in the “Alien” franchise is certainly the mark of its death. Alien 3, or Alien cubed, is lightyears from the quality of the original and its sequel, helmed by Ridley Scott and James Cameron, respectively. David Fincher’s entry into the franchise is simply unfortunate, especially since it feels nothing like a Fincher film. He has publicly spoken against studio control and has disowned this film, saying this is not his work. Seeing the work of Fincher in later years, I am inclined to believe him.
The film plays as a watered-down version of the first film. There is no invention here like what Cameron did with “Aliens.” Cameron gave us more insight into how the aliens reproduce, humanity’s space expansion efforts, introduced a new and likeable cast, and told a very-well liked story of humanity’s primitive fears that divide and unite the people facing the danger. Scott’s original film introduced the world of “Alien,” posed a threat to humanity’s space-faring efforts, cautioned the development of future technology such as spacecraft and artificially intelligent droids, all through the lens of a likeable, logical, smart, and brave character that was Ellen Ripley. These films are about how humanity has to put its differences aside to respond effectively to the combative and antagonistic nature of space. This film says the same thing but with spaghetti stains around its terminally agape mouth.
This film follows Ripley, played for a third time by the wonderful Sigourney Weaver, who crash-lands on a prison planet occupied by twenty-five prisoners with—you guessed it—an unwanted passenger. Ripley is the sole survivor of the crash—because of course she is—and so is the only female at an entirely male prison. There are some themes of rape and male depravity that ultimately go nowhere and feel weird to use as the base for this film. Ripley ends up sleeping with the prison doctor who is the only one to show her respect and does not interact with her on the sole basis that she is a woman, but rather, a person. The rest of the plot feels redundant: Alien amongst us, oh god the horror.
Nobody believes Ripley that there is an alien in the vicinity because she is a woman. That is, until the prison’s warden gets snatched up by the alien and everybody screams and runs. There was perhaps one moment in the film that got a smile out of me. Directly after the warden is snatched from above by the alien lurking in the vent, a prisoner is seen mopping up his blood, while periodically looking up and around the vent. It was a funny visual gag, helped by the fact it was a wide shot. The fact that I found this notable shows how dim the film is.
The film offers nothing for the audience to think about or even hope for and fear for. The only interesting character is killed about half-way through. He had some interesting secrets he was hiding until someone tells him about himself, which is purely for the audience (as insulting as it is). Of course, then he is killed and then the film’s population is one-note characters and a fairly backseat Ripley.
The action in this movie seemingly prefers to occur in ninety-second sequences, with a long, drawn out build up to a bloated resolution that involves a lot of talking and slow-motion shots. These are not interesting sequences. The CGI alien they used in this film is so laughably abhorrent, I could not be sure if this entire film was a long, expensive, unfunny joke. There is green around the edges, choppy motion, no blending into the environment. Whenever you see the alien move, which is a lot, it gets funnier and funnier. Humans can outrun it, apparently, as evidenced by the final act. I just do not know what the filmmakers were thinking when they made this movie.
The bulk of the film is: try to catch the alien, somebody dies. Try to kill the alien, somebody dies. Seemingly kill the alien, somebody dies. There is nothing interesting about this movie. Nobody acts like a real person. I can see take 3 of shot “see the alien and get scared.” When a prisoner dies, their fellow inmates just do not seem bothered by it, despite spending years or decades together. When one of them dies, that person does not exist anymore. It does not try at all to be a good or convincing movie.
There is no good acting in the film, the composer sounds like he is composing for a movie in the 50s, the script is clearly unfinished, the visual effects were obscene and discouraging, and I did not care for the characters or what they were trying to do. Nobody learns anything or grows. The movie is so clearly a victim of budget and time constraints which should not have been made in the first place. The film is so flat, they should be holding funerals for it instead of premiers.
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